We've Moved!

Check out our new site at

M&M Kids! Stories of parenting, adoption, and life

Read the post below if you haven't already and it will explain everything.

Thanks!

Switching Things Up

I'm going to be switching blogs up a bit. First of all, Maya will be adopted soon so I'm going to combine her private blog (which I haven't been great at updating anyway) into one blog about both kids, adoption, and life in general. I'd like to write more specifically about Mateo's special needs but I want to keep pictures and names out of it to protect his privacy, especially as he gets older and I get more detailed. So I'm going to create a separate blog specifically about that. I won't make it private because I want to be a support for other parents going through the same things. But I'm not going to connect the two blogs so that new readers won't have access to his picture, name, and personal information. My current readers will know who he is and I invite you to read both blogs, but please do not write his real name in any comments. I'm going to move all my posts about his special needs over to the new blog and keep Confessions of a Real Mom light and fun, with plenty of photos of cute kids! Does this make sense?

As soon as I have the new blog set up, I will leave the site information in a comment on your personal blog. If you want me to do so, leave a comment on this post and be sure it connects to your blog or leave your email address. Thanks.

Best Of....Maya's Party!

Photos:











Cake:

It looked beautiful...

It tasted awesome!

And it came with a complimentary smash cake just for Maya

For my Connecticut peeps, you can check out the website where
I got the cake here.

Gifts:

My friend made this dress. Yes, made it. You can see more here.








As you can see, the party was a great success!

Just So You Know....

Talking badly about a people group (race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, country of origin, etc.) whether you are in front of them or not is not okay. Making stereotypical statements about a people group is also not okay. Saying negative things about a people group in front of the parents of a child in that people group is definitely not okay. And then exclaiming the child is "not really" a part of that people group is just plain idiotic. Just so you know.

Seven Pounds Baby!

I went for my first weigh-in at Weight Watchers tonight and guess how much I lost? Hint: it's in the blog title. That's right! Seven pounds!

If I could find a way to type out a victory dance, I totally would. Picture the Cabbage Patch meets the Running Man meets the Macarena. Oh, and I'm singing a song like "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I did it! Oh yeah!"

Okay, so put that all together and picture me (minus 7 pounds of course) doing that right now. See? Don't you want to rejoice with me? Or at least laugh at me?

Wordless Wednesday

Yes, that is my son eating an entire Carvel ice cream cake that my husband brought home after surgery in order to get him to eat something.

It didn't work. He hasn't been eating well and has had tummy trouble since surgery one week ago. We've been to the doctor and will probably go again tomorrow if it doesn't get any better. Lots of drama, I'll update later when things settle down a bit.

Maya is ONE!!!

Well, she turned 1 almost a week ago but I was preoccupied with Mateo's surgery and recovery. And she's not adopted yet :( I was hoping by the first birthday but alas, DCF moves slow. Who would've guessed? But seriously, I just have to say, Maya's bio mom agreed to consent 9 months ago. Nine months! Does it really have to take this long?

Anyway, here are just some things I love about this one year old girl:

- she's just so dang cute!

- she loves her family

- she laughs whenever anybody else laughs

- she is good-natured

- but she is developing her own little personality

- which has turned a bit towards the dramatic

- like when she throws herself face down on the floor and buries her head in her hands when she's upset

- but overall she is easy-going

- she's very tough, I guess a necessity being Mateo's little sister

- she is social and friendly

- she is happy 93% of the time

- she is hilarious and makes us laugh all the time with her funny facial expressions

- she is so dang cute! (She also may be a bit spoiled because of this)


Since she's having a big party next weekend, we had a small celebration on her actual birthday. And she got one present from Dave and I, and one from Mateo. Here is the push-cart I got her. She LOVED it! And was so freakin' cute pushing it around the house.

The boys putting it together with the screw gun

Doesn't she look too tiny to be walking around like this? She's my little munchkin!

2010 Goes Down in History as the Worst Year Ever! (and it's only March)

First we had the MRSA incident. After that, Mateo started heading downhill with his moods. Then a very close friend of mine died last week unexpectedly. It's been very hard on me and my family. This weekend someone broke into our new house (where we are not living yet) and stole a bunch of my husband's tools that he's been collecting for years and our brand new washer/dryer. They did have the courtesy to take the laundry out of the washer before stealing it. Thankfully I don't have to replace the kids clothes too. But it sucks. We have a $2,000 deductible on our homeowner's insurance so we have to spend at least that much to get the stuff back. Not what we needed at all since our house renovations are far from done and if people didn't already know this, renovating a 1853 house costs money!

Plus, we are behind on all our work. We really need to move in soon so we can stop carrying two mortgages. No one has expressed interest in buying our current house. Maya's adoption isn't even close to happening yet, although her birthday/adoption party is this weekend. Speaking of Maya, she turned one last week. I have a post all ready about how fabulous she is! But I want to add a picture (from behind) and haven't had a chance yet. That will be next.

Anyway, the point is...2010 is officially the worst year ever! I'm hoping by June I'm not saying that anymore.

Surgery Update

Mateo did end up staying overnight. They took out the tonsils, the adenoids (again), and put in ear tubes. The ENT said it was good that we did all three. He really needed it. Surgery went well but after he wasn't breathing as well. Nothing to be alarmed about but his oxygen sats were low at first so they wanted to be sure to monitor him overnight. He is doing just fine today and coming home soon. Dave stayed overnight with him, since he's such a daddy's boy. He had a lot of trouble coming out of anesthesia, which we anticipated based on how he did last time. Since he's pretty much irritable on a daily basis, and normally has trouble going from sleeping to waking, it was no surprise that he had even more trouble after surgery, in a strange environment, with lots of tubes stuck to him. He was so combative, agitated, AND STRONG, that the nurses gave him a dose of Morphine. Fifteen minutes later, another dose. Twenty minutes later they called the anesthesiologist down, who gave him some Valium, "just to calm him down." Yes, thank you! As we were in a wrestling match with him for the last 45 minutes. After the Valium he still tried to take the IV out but was much slower at it so we could catch him. He recovered fine after that. But I have a big gouge taken out of my finger as a war wound.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts and prayers. We are happy there was no excessive bleeding. He should be home today, eating ice cream and popsicles, and hopefully in a good mood.

Oh, and we had the same nurse in the inpatient unit as we did when we were there last month with Maya. And she recognized us! I had to explain that we don't intentionally put our children in the hospital 6 weeks apart, it's just a coincidence. We are a normal family...sort of.

Surgery Day

Today is Mateo's 4th surgery. He's having his tonsils out, ear tubes in, and adenoids checked. He had his adenoids out last year but they sometimes grow back. Sometimes these surgeries can cause complications for children with cleft lip/palate. So we have a bed held for us in case, but we're hoping we don't need to use it. I'd like to go home today. I'll update later about how it went. I'm guessing Mateo won't be very happy after surgery. We're also going to be messing with his medication doses but....he hasn't been stable anyway. I'm also guessing he's going to be pretty irritable and angry due to the heightened level of anxiety the whole event will cause him. He's so sensitive to everything, I'm gearing myself up for a rough couple of days.

I do have a medication update I'll post later.

Wordless Wednesday

Weight Watchers

Well, I officially joined Weight Watchers. Now I guess I have to actually watch my weight. Hopefully as it goes down!

It should be no surprise to anyone that I gained...about....a million pounds! of weight in the last two years. Who knows what the reason is (ahem, kids!), but whatever the reason (kids!), it doesn't matter cause I can't get rid of them! So, I might as well just suck it up and deal with the stress in some other way besides downing an entire sleeve of Oreos. And since auditioning for Biggest Loser doesn't seem in the cards, Weight Watchers is the next best thing.

So here I am...at my first meeting. Getting weighed by an overly sympathetic skinny woman with a clipboard. Ugh. I hate it. But I need it. Oh, why can't I be one of those people who can eat anything they want and never gain a pound! I hate them.

I mean, I've never been a size 2 or anything but I used to be pretty average. I've always been curvy, but healthy and muscular. Now I join the ranks of the thousands of point-counting, weekly weigh-in, crying at meetings, Weight Watcher people. It's ok. I can deal with it. I miss my body and my health too much to not give it a try. Wish me luck!

Before Kids

(on our honeymoon to Yosemite)

I don't even have an "after kids" picture to show you because I erase them all before anyone can see them. Hopefully, in a few months, I'll be able to show you some progress. I don't know about wearing no skimpy denim shorts anymore, but we'll see.

To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool? That is the Question.

The word "homeschooling" was always synonymous with "crazy" in my mind. I never thought it was something that would enter our lives. I will admit I was always intrigued by the idea of homeschooling. Children having more free time, no homework, no tests, and a tailored education where the parents can dictate what's important (more music and art!). But I didn't think I would ever do it. Mostly because I didn't think I could stand being around my children that long.

But remember this post I wrote recently about our plan to begin homeschooling Mateo when we move?

While I think it's the right thing to do in our case, I still have doubts. Will I have enough time while working part time? Will I be able to teach him? Will he be able to learn from me? Will I get tired of coming up with creative and crafty ideas all the time? Will they not be socialized enough? Will he not learn the skills he needs to succeed in life? Will the state take him away if he doesn't pass some sort of homeschooling test? And the list goes on.

Most importantly, is he going to miss out on anything? That's my biggest fear. All those small experiences that only school can give you. I realize some are bad; bullying, cliques, homework, poor teachers, etc. But look at the photo below. This came home from school with Mateo last week.

(click on photo to make larger)

Is this what he's going to miss out on by not being in school? It doesn't change my mind, but it does make me wonder.

Why is it Always About Daddy?

Maya has taken to calling me "daddy". I would be upset but she's so darn cute when she says it. I honestly think she thinks she's saying "mommy". She responds if someone asks "where's mommy?" But she still says "daddy" enthusiastically as she pats my face. She also calls my husband "daddy". Maybe she thinks everyone is called "daddy"? She also says "doggie". Hm...maybe I should be grateful she doesn't call me that.

Buying Happiness?

I need some opinions here. So Maya's big birthday party is coming up in a couple weeks. And since it's going to be a pretty big deal (at least in one three year olds eyes) and Maya will get lots of attention and presents, what is your opinion on giving Mateo a small present so he doesn't feel left out? Normally, I would say no way. This creates a spoiled child who feels entitled to a present at everyone's birthday. But now that it's my kid, and I'm going to have to keep telling him "no" to all the presents Maya gets, I think I might get him a little something to open while Maya is opening her presents. Maybe when he's older he can be expected to enjoy the process of his little sister opening her gifts, but he's only 3 years old. I think that's asking too much. So, what do you think? Present or no present at Maya's birthday party?

Speaking of consumerism....I'm going to be honest about something, a flaw I suppose, so don't slam me for this. I have a confession. I attempt to buy Mateo's happiness. Before you get all soap-boxy in my comments, let me explain. Number one: I grew up poor. My mom had to say "no" to a lot of things that I really wanted. I may be making up for that. I see Mateo begging for something at the store and the little me inside is begging too. Number two: I sometimes feel so bad that life is hard for Mateo that buying him that one toy to make him happy doesn't seem like such a big deal. Yes, I know the feeling is only temporary! And I know that it's superficial! And I know he should find his happiness in God, or himself, or his family, or whatever! But I feel so helpless sometimes because I don't know how to help him. I can't fix his hurts. I just want him to have some happy, joyful memories of his childhood. This is one thing I know how to do to bring a smile to his face. Is that so wrong? (If you answered "yes", don't tell me)

So, that is why we accumulate so much junk around here. But, on a positive note, after the cheap thrill of a new toy is over, I take it away and donate it. So, children out there somewhere are benefiting from my weakness.

Twilight

Ha! Got you to read this didn't I? Okay, I'm not really writing about Twilight. I think I covered my obsession thoroughly in this post. But have you read her other book? The Host. I finished it a couple weeks ago and loved it! It's kind of like X-files meets Sybil meets Love Actually. I didn't know if anything Stephanie Meyers wrote would live up to Twilight, but it was different enough that I could like it too. And actually, I think it would make a great movie, which is good cause they are making into one. So...if you love Stephanie Meyers, and want a quick fun read, check out The Host.

Calling All Parents of Biracial Kids!

I need hair help!!!!

Maya's hair is still really dry and frizzy in the back. I think I need a leave-in conditioner. Her hair is not as kinky and tight as AA hair so I think a product meant for that type of hair will be too heavy. So I need something in between. Any suggestions?

Daddy's Boy

I was looking through my camera card and realized I have so many cute pictures I haven't done anything with. So my next few posts will be mostly pics. To start us off I have some favorites of Mateo and Dave. Mateo is such a daddy's boy. When Dave is around, all Mateo wants is to be with him. In fact, when Dave isn't around, all he wants is daddy. It's very cute (when it's not annoying). And since I grew up without a dad, I have always LOVED child and father photos. Especially baby girls and dads. But since I can't post of Maya yet, you'll just have to wait.






And this photo is one that Mateo took of Dave. Good huh? Future photographer maybe?

Won't You Be My Valentine?

We're a little late for a Valentines Day post, I know. But I liked the pictures of Mateo so I'm posting anyway. We had a really great V-day actually. My friends were here from Indy to help us do some projects around the new house. Check out my house blog later tonight for more details (wait till later though cause I haven't actually written the new post yet). I got the kids little Valentine bags of goodies. Unfortunately, they were both more interested in my husband's pipe insulation. Oh well. I tried to be a fun mom. Daddy gets all the glory again and he doesn't even have to try.

The coolest part was our double date!!! Man, I haven't been on a double date in...well...I don't even remember the last time. My mom watched the kids and Dave and I went out to a nice restaurant with the aforementioned friends from Indy. The food was great, the company was....eh...so so. Okay, kidding. It was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures of Mateo hamming it up as usual.


Notice the T-shirt. It's Pebbles and Bam-bam. Who misses The Flintstones? They just don't make kid shows like they used to. Yabba Dabba doo!!!


"Really mom, I need a haircut. This mop of hair just isn't doing it for me. Chicks may not be digging me much longer if you don't control this thing"

Hands full of Hershey Kisses

Happy Belated Commercialized Westernized Made-Up-Holiday-For-Your-Husband-To-Screw-Up-Again!!!

Feeleez!

So, I saw this product on someone else's blog and just had to get it. They are little cards you can play games with, like memory. Anything that might work to help Mateo express his emotions that doesn't involve throwing things, calling names, spitting, or hitting, I am buying it! I just got them in the mail yesterday. They are adorable. And fun.





BUT...because I'm me. I just can't resist making fun of a few of them. So, here are some of my favorite "feeleez".

There's-gum-in-my-hair-and-I-don't-know-what-to-do-so-

I'll-just-make-a-silly-face face

I-ate-too-many-gummy-worms-and-now-I'm-gonna-hurl face
(OR...my-mom-made-me-wear-this-awful-sweater-and-I'm-gonna-hurl face)


I'm-going-through-Dora-withdrawl-so-just-hand-over-the-remote-and
no-one-will-get-hurt face


Macaulay Culkin-esque-Home-Alone face


It-was-this-big!-I-swear! face


Loading-my-finger-gun-and-gonna-bust-a-cap-in-that-kid's-face face


I-gotta-pee-I-gotta-pee-I-gotta-pee-oops-too-late face

I-just-won-the-lottery-in-my-bathing-suit-and-I must-be-on-uppers-cause-I'm-smiling

even-though-I-have-no-fingers face

This is Mateo's favorite. Seriously, he's obsessed with it. He says it's a mad face. I'm thinking maybe more constipated but I guess these are objective. But maybe his obsession is indicative of the way he feels most of the time. I guess if I felt like I was constipated all the time I would be pretty mean and irritable too. Hmm...explains a lot doesn't it?

Anyway, see how fun these are? You can try it too. Just leave a comment with a caption for one of the photos and number them starting at the top. Then I'll post the best ones. Try it. It's fun!