10 reasons not to get pregnant:
(If you've had problems with infertility, you probably don't want to read any further. If you do, I can't be held responsible for your feelings about this post. I certainly can understand your loss. But it's my blog, therefore my perceptions of things, and my perception of pregnancy is that it sucks.)
1) Doctor's appointments. It's not because I'm afraid of needles. I have several tattoos and I've given blood. Actually, I look at needles and say, go ahead needle, just try to make me bleed! I dare you! Usually they do, and a lot. So, no, it's not because of the needles. It's because of THAT kind of doctor. I dread my yearly appointment months before it happens and I don't need any other reasons to have someone poking around down there. It makes me very uncomfortable and I think if I was pregnant I would resent my child for making me have to get to know my gyno better than just by her cold hands like I do now. Really, I don't even think I know her name. Or is it a he?
2) Breastfeeding. I know, I know, it's supposed to be this wonderful bonding experience with your infant or toddler (but hopefully not your 8 year old like I saw on a video once. I can probably say that I'm scarred for life. I'll never look at breastfeeding the same. Sidenote: They were European.). But I'm very possessive of my breasts and just thinking about something chomping on them totally freaks me out. Mateo already has an unnatural attachment to them and he's never been breastfed. He picked up my bra the other day and said, "boobies". I have no idea how he knew the two went together. It's disturbing.
3) Uhh....labor? Seriously, I can't think of a reason good enough to want to push something the size of a bowling ball out of my...well, you know. Add on top of that, stories of pain, infections, something about vacuums, and....gulp....tearing. NO THANK YOU!
4) Cankles. Need I say more?
5) Moodiness and hormones. Ask my husband, I'm already unstable.
6) The "no" list: no caffeine, no seafood, no alcohol, and no drugs! Sorry, there are just some things I can't live without. I don't mean the drugs. Well, not illegal ones anyway.
7) Genetics. Is there anything that desirable to be passed on? Not in our case. And I know some others that shouldn't be procreating either.
8) Umm...how can I see this nicely...becoming massive. I already have body issues, add on top of that a giant bulging tumor of a stomach and I'd go over the deep end.
9) Money! Babies are expensive. At least with adoption from foster care, we get a lot of help. Do you know anyone else who gets paid to raise their kid?
10) ...and finally, cankles. (Believe me, it deserves two spots on the list)
So my question is, why would you sign up for all this when you can get one delivered, stork-style, to your doorstep? For free! You don't even have to pay for health care! I don't think I'll ever understand. Oh well, your loss. Mateo is definitely the coolest kid I know!
Disclaimer: you are certainly more than welcome to leave a comment about the joys of being pregnant and giving birth, just please no gory details. I don't want my readers to have to worry about their gag reflex being triggered while visiting my blog. Thank you
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3 hours ago
7 comments:
I think there is seriously something wrong with people who say they "love being pregnant". Pregnancy was really tough for me and I am not really in a rush to get pregnant again anytime soon, although I'm not ruling it out. I have always been intrigued by adoption. Not only do I want to adopt someday but I want to work in the industry when I become a social worker. I can't think of anything more rewarding than helping a child find a loving home.
i'm glad you feel that way cause not everyone does. most of the time, foster children are the forgotten population that get swept under the rug. it's very sad. i work in the field too. i recruit foster and adoptive families as well as help support them. it's a hard job to be a social worker. i don't envy those that do it.
You know I was with you all the way to cankles. What are cankles--swollen ankles? Out of all the other reasons--I'd add on--no "extracurricular" marital activities for what six weeks? Come on--guys can't want that excuse on top of all the others we have, right?!--for six weeks.
Adoption sounds better and better.
And, Justice, no cracking on my not so awesome genetic pool. What kid wouldn't want to have frizzy curly hair, big thick glasses, braces, albino skin tone, poor athletic skills, and an inhaler for gym class?! I mean--let me just slap "loser, geek and nerd" on my child at birth because we all know that's where they're headed if I procreate.
Well I have to go in a different direction of the other comments:
I have two daughters through childbirth and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Sure pregnancy has it's negatives: nausea, weight gain, pain at childbirth and of course cankles but it's all temporary and so worth it to bring God's most wonderful creation into the world. I'm not saying it's easy but God's plan wasn't for it to be easy...nothing worth it is. For those who haven't been pregnant & had a child don't be discouraged...it's a wonderful time and even if the pregnancy is rough who cares...it's so small in the span of it all.
Whether you have a child through childbirth, adopt from the US, adopt outside of the US who cares as long as you are taking care of your child and doing the best you can for him or her. You can't compare any of them as easier or harder then others or judge anyone for the direction they took...just be happy their are loving parents in this crazy world.
lisa, of course i wouldn't judge someone's decision about the way they create a family. there is no better or worse way to do it. but like i said, it's my blog and therefore my opinions. and i happen to think i wouldn't like pregnancy very much and there are those out there who agree and disagree. and mostly this blog is about entertainment. so don't take any of it too seriously.
Hey--here's another couple for you. Hemmroids and that evil thing that goes with it--constipation. Then there is the lovely thing called hormones. I'm bitchy enough--why throw in lack of sleep along with mood swings??Don't forget the map of stretch marks!
Honestly, having been through the hell of infertility and then travelled the path of international adoption not 1 but 3 times--the only regret I have is not having the option to breastfeed. I'm not saying I could/would have done it--just didn't have the option. I have seen things no one ever thought I would see, changed careers because I experienced the wonders of having cleft-affected children and developed a patience I didn't know I had. Adoption is wonderful.
And the more I see these poor pregnant women at work--the more I thank God for being infertile. It just looks miserable.
I might have just falled in love. Hilarious!!!!!!
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