Thursday, October 2, 2008

Ridiculous Baby Products: Part 3

Time for my monthly edition of...Ridiculous Baby Products! Here are my newest victims.

Since safety concerns are at an all time high, we now have "safer, softer, more secure sleds." And since the new thing now is to make everything inflatable, you guessed it, sleds with inflatable sides. Seriously, I think we ought to save ourselves the trouble of buying all these safety conscious products that cost 3X as much as the regular version (remember when sleds were, like, five bucks) and instead just invest in installing airbags in our children's clothing. That way, if they have any accidents, it doesn't matter where they are or what they are riding/eating/playing with/smelling/jumping on/hugging or doing. That takes away all the risk! Am I on to something here?

Let's talk socks. Baby socks use, what, three inches of fabric and cost some 6 year old from a third-world country a quarter to make? Then why does it cost $16.95 for one pair of "top of the line non-skid slipper socks"? For babies! If I paid more than fifteen dollars for every pair of socks for my son, I'd be re mortgaging my house right now. And don't even get me started on the memory foam slippers!

Another safety item. A locking childproof bin for your household cleaning products. Apparently using cabinet locks is not enough anymore. So for the children of this generation, we must lock them (the cleaners, not the kids, although maybe that's something to think about) in a safe-like bin complete with shock system if one should get to close. That's what we get for creating hybrid genius children! Only no one's noticed children of our generation aren't actually any smarter (I blame Spongebob) than we were and we seem to be doing fine despite having a couple scares after drinking dishwasher liquid at 5, but our mother's didn't panic. They just gave us rat poison so we'd puke it up. So, what are we so worried about?

Stay tuned for next month's edition of Ridiculous Baby Products: Part 4, coming soon to a blog near you!

future plumber's crack?

the fort we made in our living room today

Mateo and his "friends"

1 comment:

Joe said...

Yup. I don't fall for that crap. I'm of the school of thought that you learn lessons from experiences. I learned to NEVER stick kitchen utensils in an electrical outlet by sticking a spoon in an electrical outlet.

Not only have I NEVER done that since, I have also gained an tremendous amount of respect for electricity.