Oh. My. Freakin. Gosh. Well THIS was Unexpected.

So here we've been waiting and preparing for a boy, most likely a toddler boy. That's where our head space has been. BUT, lo and behold! I get a phone call yesterday that Mateo's birth-mom had a little girl last week. She's going into DCF care when she's discharged. Would we be interested in taking her? Hell yeah! Now I'm in complete shock. We DID NOT expect this at all! A newborn? A girl? Of course I'm excited (and scared to death). But I've never cared for a newborn. I mean, I know they need to eat and sleep but how much, and when? I have no idea. I'm hoping when we pick her up the doctor's will tell us everything we need to know. We will be fostering, of course. But it looks good for going to adoption. We're trying not to think about that though, because it's such a high legal risk we don't want to set ourselves up for something that won't happen.

Dave and I talked briefly about the possibility of Mateo's b-mom having more kids after we first got Mateo. It happens frequently with foster care. We decided a long time ago that it didn't matter what the child was like, if Mateo had a sibling (or a half sibling in this case) the answer would be yes. Doesn't matter if the child is blue with three eyes. The answer would always be yes. But we were still shocked when it happened.

Of course, this is most people's dream come true. A newborn baby girl right from the hospital. And it is for us too. But it's hard to change my previous ideas and shift them to this new reality. It's just very surreal. I don't think I'll actually believe it till I see her.

The sucky part is that she can't leave the hospital for a while. At least two weeks, maybe a month. And we can't visit her. Which is KILLING me! I'm not sure what to do with myself, other than getting ready and collecting the essentials for baby care. But still, I feel like I'm hanging on the edge of something really great but that I have no control over. There's, like, nothing to grasp at. Nothing concrete, no picture, not much info, and she's just out there suffering in a hospital without us, but we can't go hold her! I'm all jittery and anxious and unsettled. I feel like I need to just get out and do something. I should probably store up on sleep or something, huh? Or maybe go on a zillion dates with my husband before she comes.

Please, pray or cross your fingers or send vibes or whatever, that her health stabilizes quickly and we can bring her home.

Now I gotta go set up a crib, buy clothes, and hound my friends for free stuff. I'll update later!