Thursday, August 27, 2009

What's Up With These Freakin Parenting Magazines???

Every once in a while I read a Parenting magazine. Usually when I'm bored, or when Maya is looking for information on the newest fashion trends. (Side note: What is with everyone stealing my name? I'm totally pissed cause I thought Maya was at least a little bit off the radar for baby names. I mean, it's not on the top 10 list or anything. But I swear, everyone and their mother is naming their babies Maya right now. I'm so pissed. I would change my mind, since nothing's official yet, but I do so love the name.) Okay, now that I got that off my chest, I can move on.

Parenting magazines! I was browsing through one the other day, trying to make it look muy importante and dire so my husband would entertain the kids for a while, and I realized there is some pretty God-awful advice in there. For example....

In an article about how to get your picky eaters to eat healthy foods, they make some suggestions. Now we all either have had a picky eater, have a picky eater, or know a picky eater. Actually, let me rephrase that. Parents, you have a kid that eats right? Well, according to some Parents magazine editor, these are some solutions to your picky eater problem.

1. Cut up squash and zucchini with a basil pesto dip. Would your two year old say, "Oh yes, mother, could I get a carrot and flaxseed smoothie as well? I really need the antioxidants today."? Hell no! Cause they're normal. Well, I shouldn't assume anything of my readers. Some of you I know and I figure to be pretty normal. But in all seriousness, basil pesto dip? I don't even know what that is! I slather all Mateo's vegetables in butter and salt and he still doesn't eat them. But, hey, maybe a basil pesto dip is just the zest he needs.

2. Rent Ratoiutiuilleee (that's how you spell it right?) and serve homemade ratuoiltooellieee with a side of breaded tofu triangles. Okay, if you've ever had ratouioooeey, you know that it has some pretty strong, sophisticated flavors. I don't know any kid that would eat it unless they've been force fed it since birth. Perhaps if I start the baby on it now, by the time she's in preschool she'll be begging for ratootuiollelleeey with her zucchini and pesto dip.

This editor obviously doesn't have children. Or maybe her nanny does all the cooking and she doesn't know that her kids are living off of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and drive-thru french fries just like every other red-blooded American child.

8 comments:

JonesEthiopia said...

You crack me up.

Molly C said...

ummm i'm 21 and I still eat the dino shaped nuggets. They taste better than regular shaped ones..

Rachel said...

Awesome. I tried to feed my toddler lightly pesto seasoned angel hair the other night and the second it hit her tongue she started crying and begging for a "mapkin" to spit into. All she ended up eating that night was green beans bathed in butter.

Kim said...

LMAO!!! I have read articles like that too. It just cracks me up. I wouldn't eat that crap, certainly don't expect my 3yo to eat it. Besides everyone knows the answer to getting kids to eat veggies is to give them ranch dressing to dip it in! Except my kid who won't go anywhere near any kind of dip.... ever! When my oldest son was little all he ever wanted was corn dogs and burritos. I used to wrap whatever we were having for dinner in a burrito shell (mashed potatos and roast beef burrito) tell him it was a burrito and he'd eat it. Now THAT is a true tip on how to get picky kids to eat!

have to laugh about the name thing too. the same thing happened to me with my older kids. as soon as i used the names... everybody started using them. lately i have even noticed a few people starting to name their kids with the name of my little guy. His name is Dmitrii for cripes sake! How the heck did that manage to come up with that one??? My kid is half freaking Russian so the name fits, everyone else needs to stay away from that name!!!! okay.... done ranting. but you see now that i TOTALLY know where you're coming from.

Kim said...

just wanted to respond to your comment over on meechi's blog. when he started his OT and PT he refused to participate in everything. he fought it all and cried and screamed and kicked. slowly, but surely the therapists gained his trust and his interest and got him to participate. he eventually started looking forward to going. they key thing that seemed to start the switch for him was telling him how he was going to "get to go play with katy or claire". hopefully you will see that same change happen with Mateo. In the beginning I thought there was no way Meech would ever participate and he really amazed me with his progress.

Melodie Monberg said...

Amen to the parenting magazine rant! I actually stopped reading all of them, and paying for them (what was I thinking?) I have accepted the fact that my son will live on tortilla chips and cheese until he dies! Face it, we all need to just "accept the facts!" smile

Thanks for the summary! Melodie

areyoukidding said...

Thank Goodness for your post! I worry that I am the only one who has given in to my sons diet of Graham Crackers and Mandarin Oranges (and french fries while we are out of the house) because he won't eat...I've heard the "he will eat what is in front of him when he is hungry, don't make him something else" speech too...but that is way easier said than done when your kid literally won't eat and is 23 months old and still wearing a size 12-18 mos pant...
amen to your post sister! We feel your pain!

The Knott Family said...

I read the same article and cracked up when I read it. In the Knott household the following are accepted forms of vegetables: Ian's alphabet shaped fries (I have convinced myself that they are learning something while eating...right?), sweet potato fries and veggie booty. Am I confusing you with someone else or do you help families with life books??