Yes, it's official, I'm dating again. Don't worry, I'm not getting a divorce or cheating on my husband. I'm looking for friends. It seems so simple. When we were in kindergarten we could have a 3 word conversation about Captain Crunch and then be best friends for life. But why does finding friends feel an awful lot like dating, now that we are adults? Am I dressed trendy enough that I don't look like a frumpy mom who forgot how to have fun? Am I dressed too trendy and give off the impression that I care more about how I look than I do about my kids? Should I smile a lot or does that come across too perky? But if I don't smile, then it seems like I'm unhappy about my life and no one wants to hang out with a downer. These are the questions I think about everyday when taking my son to various playgroups, playgrounds, and story times. Shouldn't there be an easier way?
Just to give you a clear picture of how hard it is, here is an inner monologue of what goes on in my mind while mingling with other moms.
Okay, approach slowly. Make eye contact and a nice smile...not too desperate, just a small nod to say hello. Okay, she smiled back, that means she's into you. Start off with a question about her.
"So...come here often?" Good, good, you're doing good. Now find something you have in common.
"How old is your son?" Same age. Great! You hit the jackpot. Now say something about yourself that's a little vulnerable so she knows your serious.
"My son's a biter." She took the bait! Now ask her opinion about something important and you'll reel her right in.
"What do you think about Darfur?" No, no, too soon! Abandon all posts! Retreat! Retreat!
"I mean, how about them teddy grahams? Good, huh?" Okay, good recovery. You can do this. Now give your kid a kiss to show that it's really all about him.
"Oh, I don't allow little Harrison Emmett Junior to eat anything with sugar. It might interfere with the delicate balance of protein to unsaturated fat ratio he needs to be the next MVP of his T-ball league."
Oh no, another psycho mom. Get out of there now!
"I think I hear my phone ringing."
It's okay. You didn't see that one coming. Just try again. Scan the crowd but also seem attentive to your kid. Hmm....the mom with oversized sunglasses and low rise jeans is totally checking you out.
You like what you see?
Just to give you a clear picture of how hard it is, here is an inner monologue of what goes on in my mind while mingling with other moms.
Okay, approach slowly. Make eye contact and a nice smile...not too desperate, just a small nod to say hello. Okay, she smiled back, that means she's into you. Start off with a question about her.
"So...come here often?" Good, good, you're doing good. Now find something you have in common.
"How old is your son?" Same age. Great! You hit the jackpot. Now say something about yourself that's a little vulnerable so she knows your serious.
"My son's a biter." She took the bait! Now ask her opinion about something important and you'll reel her right in.
"What do you think about Darfur?" No, no, too soon! Abandon all posts! Retreat! Retreat!
"I mean, how about them teddy grahams? Good, huh?" Okay, good recovery. You can do this. Now give your kid a kiss to show that it's really all about him.
"Oh, I don't allow little Harrison Emmett Junior to eat anything with sugar. It might interfere with the delicate balance of protein to unsaturated fat ratio he needs to be the next MVP of his T-ball league."
Oh no, another psycho mom. Get out of there now!
"I think I hear my phone ringing."
It's okay. You didn't see that one coming. Just try again. Scan the crowd but also seem attentive to your kid. Hmm....the mom with oversized sunglasses and low rise jeans is totally checking you out.
You like what you see?
Mommy and Mateo on a hayride
wagon ride at the pumpkin farm
finding pumpkins
my cutie pie!
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5 comments:
You crack me up!! It's totally like that in my head too, only not involving thought of a kid.
Awesome, haha! I'd totally be into you if we were in the same playgroup! Wait, did I just hit on you? I'm confused now.
it's so funny that this subject comes up all the time with my small group of gal friends- it seems like once you're out of school it becomes impossible to meet new people that you click with....
Thank you so much for your comment...it makes me feel so much better.
Thank you!!!
I feel your pain! Between work and kids--all I really want is someone I can call up and say hey--let's go get a cup of coffee. And where I live there are alot of the "vegan" anti-sugar, don't look at baby crossed people! Personally a little dirt never hurts!
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