My husband and I fought almost all night long about who's turn it is to get up with _____ (enter Mateo, baby, dog). This is the conversation we had in the morning. Oh, and yes, we play the martyr game. You know, who's got it worse during the day.
Dave: If we can teach the baby to sleep through the night, it would be much easier. Can't we feed her something more substantial before bed?
Me: Oh sure. I'll just cook her up a steak.
Dave: Well, it's got be easier for you. Your mommy hormones kick in.
Me: What? Sorry but there is no superwoman gene that suddenly activates and makes me spring into action in the middle of the night. It's a choice. I chose not to let the baby cry. I have to drag my ass out of bed just like you, just like the rest of the parents of the world. There is no magical power here.
Dave: (sounding disappointed) There's not?
Then I told him to ask his friends at work who are dads if having a young baby is hard, stressful, and if they have to get up at night too. So, of course, his only frame of reference is his boss who is married to a very traditional Polish woman who takes on all the housework, childcare, and also works full time. Whatever! I told him that I'm not Polish and they'll probably be divorced in 10 years when she realizes how much she resents him.
Anyway, I'll spare you the rest of the details. But, really, anyone here have a supermommy gene that makes them more capable of dealing with stress and sleep deprivation? Or do you agree with me that it's just a load of B.S.?
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8 comments:
BS! BS!! BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Complete load. And anyone that tells you different is also full of it. I remember when the twins were about 6 months old and I had been living on 4 hrs. of sleep each night I had a small break down in the middle of the night while holding one of my crying babies. I needed sleep. Badly. No supermommy gene. I started giving her a bottle in her crib and going back to sleep. I know, so bad.
Tell your husband that you believe in equally shared parenting: http://equallysharedparenting.com/index.html
It's a myth... When my first was very little I actually felt terrible for a while that my supermommy gene didn't activate. Thought it might be because I didn't give birth! Maybe those hormones or something? Ugh. But it turns out that parenting is just hard sometimes, no matter how the kiddos come.
BS totally!! And I will be the first to say that Ted is a better parent then me. I'm the better nurse--ie, puke, poop, first aid (particularly for Ted--he is accident prone). And he is definitely better with the activities. I would say its the parent gene--what?? No comments about sexism???
I don't know about a mommy gene but apparently in Utah, meth was big problem among moms. There were anti-meth billboards, and commercials directed toward women because women felt they could be more productive in a day when they had that little "boost". I laughed at it when I lived there but now that I'm a mom of a child who still doesn't reliably sleep through the night, I can see why some women would resort to that (not that I'm advocating drugs).
As far as waking up at night, its all me. My husband wakes up enough with his pager so I always get up with the Elizabeth :( Plus, I kind of feel better knowing that he has had a good night sleep before cutting into people on the operating table. If he had a normal job, he would definitely be splitting the "baby nightshift" with me.
Did your hubby grow up with a stay at home mom? He probably learned about that gene from somewhere...
But anyway, being single, I'm TERRIFIED! Who am I going to argue with about who gets up at night???? My other personalities???
AHHHHHH!!!!
Hey, isn't it time for more baby pics? (hint)
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