Updates

Here are some quick updates about the family.

1) Baby is adjusting very nicely. The nurses said she cries a lot but they must have her confused with another baby. She is the happiest, easiest baby I have ever met. Healthy and developing normally. We feel very lucky, but also a little (okay, a lot) nervous about the future. We really don't want to lose her.

2) Mateo's adjustment is exactly to be expected. He loves the baby but is also jealous and a bit resentful. Sometimes he's worried when she cries and wants to help. Other times he wants her to go bye-bye. He's acting a little differently too. Which is normal for a big change in the family like this.

3) Speaking of attitude, Mateo has a lot of it. I know I've said that before but especially since the baby's been here. Actually, he's acting like a teenager. Crossing his arms and pouting, and running to his bedroom when he's mad and slamming the door while yelling, "Noooo!" We are giving him a lot of grace during this time because I know it must be hard on him.

4) Food. I've been using food to ease my guilt about not having as much time for Mateo. Working 3 days a week, I already feel like I don't spend enough time with him, but now it's even worse. So, I've been giving Mateo lots of "treats" to make him happy and feel special. Mostly it just makes me feel better. I may have to explain when he's older why he has a compulsion for eating jellybeans when he's upset. Ha, ha.

5) Dave is completely in love with the baby. Now remember, he was the one who said he never wanted a newborn. Well, I don't think he'd trade her for the world. Which is going to make it very hard if she has to leave. But he's great with her. He loves to hold her and fall asleep with her on his chest.

6) Me. Well, I thought I could be removed from the situation and still take care of the baby. I thought, a baby is a baby, and I'll just provide for her needs until I know it's safe for me to love her. Too late. She fits so perfectly into my arms, like she was meant to be there, forever. And as soon as she looked into my eyes, I was hooked. Now I'm not sure what I'll do if we lose her. I think I've decided that IF she does have to go to birth family, I would keep fostering babies until we could keep one. I actually think it will be easier on Mateo to adjust to an infant than to a toddler. But let's hope we don't have to make that decision. We are praying like crazy that she can be ours forever.

7) Remember a few months back when I wrote that prayer about getting our "mellow" child. Well, Maya is mellow yellow jello. So really, pray we can keep her. That's what it all boils down to.