On the rocks!

So we have all this colorful, fun, outdoor equipment for Mateo to play with out in the yard. You know, the kind that cost $500 and break in a day and a half? And guess what he chooses to do? Pick up rocks and throw them at my car....and at close range! This is his absolute favorite pasttime. Even if I try to entice him with the bright cheery slide, or climby thing, or basketball hoop, he shakes his head "no" and stares at me in complete horror. Probably because Mommy is frolicking around the yard like she's in some tampon commercial and trying to fit down a slide that she clearly has no business being on. Then he promptly picks up more rocks to dent my car with. You may be thinking, why are you letting your toddler throw rocks at your car?

Well, I tell you this, "Shut up. You don’t know my kid."

First of all, it is hard to get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do, and to stop doing something he does want to do. He pretty much does the opposite of what you say AND he enjoys it. Charming, right? Yeah, definitely not a people pleaser. I guess that's good, in a way. He won't have to worry about huge therapy bills and tons of wasted time being in co-dependent relationships. The other reason I don't stop him from using my Pontiac Vibe as pitching practice is because he’s occupied, so a few scratches on my car is worth the peace I can have working in the yard (or sipping wine and reading trashy magazines). Also, he isn’t throwing them at the dog, the neighbors, or me. And that’s all that matters. You can call me a bad mom and say my expectations are to low, but while you are out there wrestling rocks from your toddler's surprisingly strong vice grip, I'm sitting on my lawn chair catching up on the Jolie-Pitts and getting a nice buzz on a Long Island Iced Tea.